Masculine Energy And Logic Versus Feminine Energy And Feelings - Which Are You?

The limbic part of the brain is the part that controls your feelings and the prefrontal cortex (the homosapien brain) which is the newer part of your brain, controls logic. The logical part of your brain is the how's and the why’s of the world. If you're feeling emotional, you're feeling it through your limbic system, from your limbic part of your brain. When we consider the difference between Men and Women it is interesting because women often think with their feelings, if that makes sense. They feel, they don't think as much, they feel, which comes from the limbic part of your brain.You may be a woman who thinks, "Yeah, I'm really emotional more than logical." Or you may be a different kind of woman who's more, "No, I'm more logical than emotional. Yes, of course I have emotions," but primarily, you are more than logical thinkers. You just logically think. Yes, of course you have emotions. It's not saying you're dead inside at all. You just think much more with your thinking side. You think, rather than you feel. Other people feel, they feel stuff. For example, they are thinking with their feelings, if that makes sense.

Have you heard me talk about polarity? In terms of masculine and feminine energy? Polarity is just like a battery, there's a positive charge and a negative charge. In any relationship, in any person, for there to be an attraction there has to be obviously a positive and a negative. Now, you don't always have to be the same one, because people say to me, "But I have both masculine traits and feminine traits." Regardless of your sex, as this has nothing to do with whether you're male or female. This is about your energy.For example, a masculine characteristic would be power, strength and confidence. A feminine trait would be emotional, caring, considerate, kind, soft. Does that mean that a person with masculine energy or a man can't be any of those things? No, of course it doesn't. Does that mean that a woman can't be strong? No, of course it doesn't. It's just in any given moment, you come with masculine energy or feminine energy.When you're feeling or thinking with more feminine energy, you'll cry rather than getting angry. That's the best version. Angry is masculine, crying and upset is a feminine emotion. It doesn't mean that women cry and that they're weak and losers, or men are just cave men, it's just the energy that's given. If you're following this still, the limbic system is the part of your brain that feels, and the prefrontal cortex is the part that thinks. Masculine and feminine energy is the different energies that anyone could give off at any one time. Now, when you talk about relationships, there's both intimate relationships and there's also parenting relationships with your children.When a masculine charged person is under stress, just to use the stereotype, when a man is stressed and tired, how do they act? They moan and they whinge, which could be considered a feminine trait. They go to the opposite, which is interesting. When a man or a masculine energy person is tired or under stress, what they do is they go to the opposite side and they moan and whinge. A lot of my clients and Mastermind group members are telling me how their ex partner doesn't like it when it doesn't go their way. When things aren't going the way of somebody who's that way inclined, they moan and whinge.What happens to a woman when she's stressed and she's tired? She's fiery and sometimes very aggressive, before then she cries. But what she does is that she fires with the masculine energy. Again, a feminine woman who's under stress, tired or in a parenting situation is frustrated, will then match with masculine energy. She'll show her opposite energy, because what she's currently doing is not working, so therefore goes to the other side. Then obviously end up going back and getting upset. Make sense?

A masculine person is normally alpha male, very confident, very this that and the other. Under stress they'll whinge and moan, not get what they want, and then fire back again with anger, because that's their default preference. This is where the energy scale slides, and ultimately looking in a relationship, you don't have to have one or the other. A spark within a relationship comes from polarity. You want a positive and a negative charge. They can swap and change. If you're thinking, "Hang on, I'm really quite masculine. I've got masculine traits, I'm quite dominant, I'm quite alpha, I'm quite out there. I'm a business owner, I do this, I do that." It's like, yeah, so you're probably, in a successful relationship, when your relationship is going really well, you're matching, your partner is playing the opposite role to you.Now, don't get me wrong, you can have moments where you swap, but one will take the lead in one of these than the other. When you start to think about this you can question which situations have my partner (or my ex-partner) and I, clash? When did we clash? Then this is really interesting especially when we start thinking about our relationship with our kids, when do you clash with your kids? It's when you're trying use the same energy? If you've got a child, and this is where it gets really interesting, you've got a child who’s trying to dominate you, when they're not listening to what you're saying, when they're just being disobedient, when they're being disrespectful. Let’s say you're primarily a feminine energy person, what do you do as a femininely charge person? You'll start to get frustrated and angry, and you're trying to discipline your children.Therefore, you switch to being more masculine because you're trying to assert yourself and tell them what you want them to do. Now, if you do this to a child who also has masculine energy, for example, if you have a child, whether they're a boy or a girl, who has masculine energy and they're more charged with masculine energy than they are feminine, you then create friction and a spark. You create conflict. Think about your relationships, this could be your friends, your boss, your intimate partner or your children, ask yourself where such conflict come from?Conflict comes from not seeing eye to eye. Often when I've worked with couples with relationship coaching, people don’t see things the same way. They just don't realise they both want the same outcome. This is the same thing as your children, and again in any relationship, and this is where I stipulate any relationship that will actually work out in the long run, because lots of people are fighting with a relationship that is not going to work out. That's not because you couldn't make it work out, because you can obviously make anything work if you want it to. But a relationship takes two people, and this is what you know, you are aware of this. If you give everything to your relationship and the other person gives fuck all, guess what? it won't work.You both have to give everything for that relationship. It's not one before the other. It's not, "Well, I'll give 25% and when they give 25%, I'll give a little bit more and I'll give some more, and then we'll see how it goes." You have to actually make a conscious decision. This is why when I say to people, hey, if you want to do it properly, you have to both commit and invest in “I'm going to do exactly what I'm told” for example by me, if they choose to work with me, because it has to be a full commitment. Otherwise it will not work.What you can do for yourself, is you look what is working? Right now, are my kids kicking off? Am I having a confrontation? Am I having frustration? Am I having problems at bedtime, am I having problems at set times? What is the thing that is causing the friction? There's something that came out of a conversation I had with a client recently who has a child, their child has a boisterous character. I would say boisterous is probably not the best word to describe it, but I think you all know what I mean when I say you probably know a child just like this, that's quite strong willed. If you're a feminine woman that has feminine energy, you would be very much like I just want to communicate. I just want to talk softly, and they will do as they're asked and things happen the right way. This would be the same if you're in a relationship and you're like, "Things can't be easy. We can't just talk about things and resolve things. Why does it have to be some form of confrontation?"

If you have an opposite person in the relationship, if you don't suit, the relationship may not work out. With your child, unfortunately you can't take them back and say, "I'd like another one, please." You can't do that, if you have a child who has got more of a boisterous character and you are not that way, how then do you deal with that? As I outline above, when you start to discipline, you naturally shift. If you're producing masculine energy you're already in that place anyway, so they're used to it. The people right now who think, "Actually I'm probably quite a masculiny charged person," you most likely have a different disciplining style.Whereas people who are thinking, "I'm more feminine with my children, I'm much more of a feminine character," When you do try to discipline them you may feel upset by it. You'd rather not have the confrontation. You'd rather calm conflict with resolution and discuss the issue and work through it. But when they match you, sometimes even if they're not boisterous children, they don't always do as they're told. They're kids. Then you have to match them and you have to raise the level of discipline, which then causes confrontation, which is stepping outside your natural preference, your natural style, not accommodate them but accommodate the situation, an then that makes you feel like shit.So many clients that I have spoken to often say "I've had a confrontation with my child, and it makes me feel like shit. They tell me they hate me, they tell me this that and other. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong." When you start to look at it, there's a million and one ways to analyse your communication preferences and styles, but if you think about the bigger picture just for a second, back to the limbic part of the brain, the part that feels versus the logical part that thinks, and then the masculine and feminine energy, you could start thinking, "Well, what energy am I matching? Why are we getting conflicts? Because that is ultimately what I'm getting. I'm getting conflict, I'm getting a spark in terms of they're pushing away like magnets."How can I change how I communicate? When challenged most people will think "Why do I have to change?" Because you want a different outcome. How can you change? Especially when you're a parent, you're the adult so you should change. When you're in a relationship, maybe you shouldn't change, but if you want that relationship to work, maybe you should try changing, see if they change too. If they don't, maybe the relationship needs to change or maybe you need to end it.It's always worth changing yourself first and figuring yourself out, and I hope people are following along with this, because this is again quite a big topic that has a million and one branch-offs and everyone's going to be very individualised in their thought process. If you're sat there and you're following along with this, you're probably trying to piece together where you are in terms of confrontation, how your parenting relationships are, how you parent, how you communicate, especially with intimate partners, and how these conflict situations and resolutions have happened. When you start breaking them down, did you come with masculine energy? Did you come with feminine energy? How did you talk? How did that situation go well, how did that situation not go well? Why did your partner blow up in that situation? Why did your child blow up in that situation? How was that diffused, how was it not defused?When you start looking at these communication mismatches, you start to be able to piece together why things happened in the way that they happened. Because when you have that, then you can start to work on how to not get that to happen again.

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