Misery Likes Company

Sorry to tell you this, but if you surround yourself with negative losers, you won't push forward for success. This could be your family members; if you have mums and dads or brothers and sisters who put you down, who are not going anywhere in life, who are jealous of your success, they will pull you down with them. Misery likes company.  Although sometimes it's tough, but you’ve got to cut people out of your life who are negative and replace them positive people. One great option is to surround yourself with people from our Mastermind Group! Even when they’re having a bad day, I’ve seen posts that say things like: "You know what? Today's been awful. Today's been tough, but I don't want to live like this. I want to strive for better. I want to have a better life. I want another, better thing. I'm trying to find the answer."  When you read that, you want to be like: "I want to do that. I want to be on the same page." This works both ways – when you're having a good day, and someone else is having a bad day, you can pour into their cup. When you're having a bad day and they're having a good day, they can pour into your cup.

When you have more friends, who are on the same mission as you, to just better your life, you miraculously feel better. So surrounding yourself with people who are on the same journey as you is key. One of my close friends and colleagues yesterday sent me a very, very good quote that says: "If you want something done, ask a busy person”  Obviously, we can understand what this means. Ask a busy person if you want something done. Now, people will say, "Well, ask a busy person? But they're busy. But they're busy!" The reason they're so busy is because they do stuff, whereas people who are not busy, they don't do anything. This leads me onto the fact that if: You want to be happy You want to be positive You want to go somewhere with your life You want to have a better relationship with your kids You want to have a better relationship with your parents You want to have better relationship with your partner Or you want to go get a partner You need to surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you. Just think, if you surround yourself with other girlfriends who are single, who hate men, you will not go on a date thinking, "This guy is going to be a great guy." Instead you’ll will go on the date thinking, "How could I find fault with this man to justify telling all my friends another funny story about a rubbish date that I had?" If you surround yourself with friends who really want you to be better, even if they're single, or to find somebody to love you, even if they haven't got that yet, those people are the people who you really want in your life. These people will surround you, who will tell you they want you to be happy, even if it means that they don't get the same happiness, because: They're not jealous of you They’re your true friends They care about you They love you They're your family Surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you will make a difference. If you’re sat there going, "I don't have any people that care about me," there are people on this planet who do care about you; whether it's your children, whether it is your family, whether it is your friends, or whether it's people in my private Mastermind group. You'll be very, very surprised about how human kindness works.

Some people ... shock, horror ... are horrible people. But not everyone is, and there's lots of people who may not even know you but would love to help you and would love to support you, love to be there for you. And those people are... they're not easy to find. Apart from when you have a group, like I do full of people who want to help people. I have a group here of people who know what it's like: To go through pain To go through anxiety To not be able to go out of the house To be stuck To be all of the things that you may feel right now To have a rubbish time To feel negative To be abused Yet somehow, they've lost the woe-is-me mindset. So what's my point? And this is tough, because some people obviously do take their own life, but what is the point of living if you're not living, you're only existing and getting by? That's no quality of life. And I'm not saying ever, obviously, end your life. That's terrible. That's not what I mean. Don't take that that way. My point is that if you're only existing and you're not living, that's no way to live. If you're telling yourself that you’re just getting by to just provide for your kids, then you're not showing them the way to live. You're actually showing them that you have to do this, you have to be this way, or it's okay for a man to treat you like this, and it's okay for you to just live and wallow and be full of self-pity. It’s time to show your kids that you can be a great role model, you can go through everything that's horrible and still come out the other side smiling and being happy and trying to progress. That's a real role model. You're showing your kids that you can still be a parent, financially providing for them, while also finding time to be happy, go to the gym, have a great job, and look after them. You're a Superwoman. You don't have to just stay home and be reclusive. There's so much more to life than that.

If you want to take those steps, there's a way to do it. Obviously, I know lots of the ways to do those things, with strategy and the mindset stuff that I do with clients. So if you want to do that, I'm offering the opportunity to apply for group coaching. That said if you're not actually committed, if you're not really that bothered, I don't want to work with you anyway. I only want to work with those who actually want to do something about it, rather than just say they do and then don’t do anything about it; because those people don't actually get any change, which doesn't give me any fulfilment, so therefore there's no real point. You know, coaching is not like a train journey. It's not A to B. People say to me, “It's a lot of money for a phone call" when they work with me over the phone or a video call. I'm like, "You could say that. But are you buying a phone call or are you buying a result?" If you think you’re just buying phone calls, that's not what you're buying. You're buying the change in your life. It's not the same thing. People need to get that (and I know people like it when I rant) but you're not buying just a six-week phone call. You're buying the result of how you're going to feel at the end of it. You're not actually buying a phone call; you're buying the result. If I said you that at the end of the coaching, you’d get the result you wanted, would you buy that? Yes, because: It changes your life It changes who you are It changes everything about you Now you love your life You're happy Everything's changed Your kids are happy You're happy You're proud of them You're proud of yourself You love your job Even one phone call with me will change your life, because as someone else has put it: “Since my call with Ben, I've realised I love myself and didn't have any self-worth. Since that call I've been learning to love myself and realise I am worthy.” At the end of the day you're buying your better future. You're investing in yourself because you are worth it. You have to believe it's possible. One of the main problems is people don't value themselves. Don’t ever think, "how can I ever love somebody, when I'll never love myself?", otherwise you've already lost, because if you believe it and you tell yourself that you're never going to love yourself, you won't ever love yourself. You have to believe it's possible, or you won't even bother trying. This is one of the reasons I get people to invest, because it means you are investing in yourself. Also, if you're a parent, it's not necessarily all for you. There’s a direct correlation for your kids. If you're a happier mum, they are happier kids. That's all we ever want. The people who I've worked with who are parents, have had so much better lives, and have so much better relationships. So, it’s down to you to put some effort in, which is what most people don't want to do. They want to do the lazy thing. Take action. You don't have to pay anything for it, you just have to take action.

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